Multiply how long you think your home improvement or repair is going to take by about three, that’s how long it’s going to take.

Leave the toilet seat up after you’re done urinating in the Men’s Room, NOWHERE ELSE. And I don’t care how drunk you are, there is no excuse for not lifting it up.

I would like to divert the purpose of this blog for a moment and thank the Tumblr.com administration for including this site on their weekly “Tumblr Tuesday” docket.

I will admit that I suggested this site last week and that I feel comfortable offering these things I have learned from my own father on such a forthright and respectable platform.

My old man instilled within me a respect for those that do good things and set examples for others and I will tell you that my mother is a teacher and I’m damn sure that those two cultivated each other. Much of what is posted here may have little pertinence to your livelihood, but I think it’s important to include lessons that bolster and buttress points outside of one’s immediate elements. I’m offering these experience-tested bulkheads for when you don’t know the next move or could benefit from a little system or game to relegate some part of your life that’s mostly ancillary and/or distracting towards your more important pursuits. You’re more than free to decide your own way after i post something, but trust me when I say that the old man just wants to reduce your stress and confusion about simple decisions regarding conduct and interaction. Lord knows we kids overthink everything anyway…

Here’s a freebie: 18 bucks a week can be put aside for 18 years rather easily and that’s what you’re going to pay per year (not including loan interest, so start putting it away already) if you’re covering your kid’s tuition (adjust down for community or up for private college).

Wednesday, November 25, 2009 — 10 notes

Get in the kitchen five minutes early when it’s your turn to make dinner.

If you’re craving something specific when you’re not even hungry —like an orange or a steak or some green beans— it’s your body telling you that it needs a specific nutritional component of that food. Booze and sweets don’t count: that’s just your body wanting the effects.

If work was stressless they wouldn’t have to pay you to keep showing up.

A shower should last as long as it takes for three songs to play on the radio. Some days you’ll get to shower through a long commercial break, some days you’ll hop in right as your first song is ending.

There is no good reason to curse. You’ll do it sometimes but immediately collect yourself and refocus when one slips out.

What’s the key to a lasting marriage? That’s easy: space.

(next year will be their 35th)

Don’t worry about kicking out a jerk customer. 1) You don’t need their business. 2) Let your competitors deal with them. 3) That whole “They’ll tell seven people about a bad experience” thing? Chances are: they don’t have that many friends.