November 2009
39 posts
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“People that pride themselves on “telling it like it is” or...”
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“Of course the knob (on the propane tank) is hard to turn, I crank it down like...”
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“Pick one brand and type of sock, son. You’ll never have to worry about...”
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“Treat every customer and co-worker as if they were a close friend, sure. But...”
“The only thing you can get with excuses are penalty fees.”
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“Pass on the extended warranty unless it’s a fancy TV or a new vehicle.”
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“Multiply how long you think your home improvement or repair is going to take by...”
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“Leave the toilet seat up after you’re done urinating in the Men’s...”
I would like to divert the purpose of this blog...
I will admit that I suggested this site last week and that I feel comfortable offering these things I have learned from my own father on such a forthright and respectable platform.
My old man instilled within me a respect for those that do good things and set examples for others and I will tell you that my mother is a teacher and I’m damn sure that those two cultivated each other. Much of...
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“Get in the kitchen five minutes early when it’s your turn to make dinner.”
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“If you’re craving something specific when you’re not even hungry...”
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“If work was stressless they wouldn’t have to pay you to keep showing up.”
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“A shower should last as long as it takes for three songs to play on the radio....”
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“There is no good reason to curse. You’ll do it sometimes but immediately...”
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“What’s the key to a lasting marriage? That’s easy: space.”
– (next year will be their 35th)
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“Don’t worry about kicking out a jerk customer. 1) You don’t need...”
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“Don’t think you can just switch from soda to orange juice to lose weight,...”
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“They [dashboard/engine lights] are called “idiot lights” for a...”
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“A boat is a hole in the water your throw money into.”
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“You’re concerned about fuel efficiency yet you don’t regularly check...”
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“You left the TV on all night? That’s a pretty expensive nightlight.”
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“Carve out the entire breast and then cut slices across the grain if it’s...”
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“Go ahead and throw out annoying toys that your kids love because you’ll...”
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“Treat every salesman of a major purchase like some yahoo that’s trying to...”
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“Quit standing around with your hands in your pockets.”
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“Sharpen your knives before each use. Never let the kids use them. They’ll...”
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“If you don’t want to bring an expensive bottle of red wine to a party just bring...”
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“Never lend a tool to someone that does not own an equal collection....”
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“Wash and vacuum your car at least once a month. You’ll thank me when you...”
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“There are two things you never lend anyone: your wife, or your chainsaw.”
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“98% of all faucet leaks in modern-day plumbing can be fixed in two minutes for...”
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“If they ask once: it’s because they want to learn. If they ask twice:...”
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“Keep a five, ten, or twenty dollar bill folded up in your wallet sidepocket at...”
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“Want a ‘quiet night’ with the wife? Spend $15 at the discount store...”
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“Spending $300 on a new bowling ball every season might make her realize how...”
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“Buy a standalone freezer and buy good cuts of bulk meat when it’s on sale....”
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“If something takes less than 20 seconds to do just do it yourself instead of...”
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“A ‘Good Deal’ is when both parties come out happy.”